500
Laps of Glory
Mostly around the kitchen island while someone explains tire strategy too seriously.
Race Weekend
Peak performance premium grand dad energy.
8:00 PM
Race Start
Delayed to 8:12 because someone had to find their reading glasses.
3.2 sec
Pit Stop Record
For changing into more comfortable shoes and grabbing a decaf coffee.
Official Sponsors: Dr. Scholl's • Folgers Coffee • Western Union • TOPS Markets • The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
The Grid
Meet the hair-apparent champions.
01
The Silver Bullet
Team Conditioner Racing
Known for late braking, early dinners, and unmatched helmet hair.
44
Grandpa Prix
New Balance Motorsport
Refuses to retire until someone beats his lawn mower sector time.
72
Chrome Alonso
AARP Works
Has been “one upgrade away” from winning since 1987.
Championship
Official standings.
PosDriverTeamPts
1The Silver BulletConditioner99
2Grandpa PrixNew Balance88
3Chrome AlonsoAARP Works84
4Sideburn SennaBuick GP77
Tickets
Exclusive access to a race that definitely exists.
General Admission
$5
Includes one grandstand seat, earplugs, and unlimited yelling at tire strategy.
Buy GAVIP Silver Lounge
$50
Includes premium snacks, early access to leave, and permission to say “back in my day” three times.
Start Your Engines